A tale of two churches

I attended two church services with a friend both were exclusive church groups by definition, one was based around cultural and linguistic exclusivity and another on sexuality. While these churches didn’t intentionally exclude they were nevertheless exclusive through definition. The context these church groups were set up is based in decades of exclusion from mainstream church. In a bid to avoid racism and homophobia these churches have created safe spaces however they are not free from biases.

In a church that is made up of one ethnicity I am an anomaly. I am of mixed race and ethnicity, I find it hard to define my ethnicity. Ethnocentrism and nationalism scare me, I know I can very easily become the outsider in any group that defines itself on the basis of these identities. I am also unmarried and childless, this often means fending off questions about my marriage prospects, being introduced to men against my will. Over the years I have found I am seen as less of a person and even infantalised because of my lack of partner. The last service I attended was particularly difficult as my singleness was spoken about like a disease, the priest even went into a corner and spoke to another priest about my advancing age and diminishing fertility. Given that my community is known for forced marriages and other atrocities against women I was scared of being in this church for a minute longer and left as fast as I could.

All I remember is walking out and trembling at the bus stop, the incident has left me shaken. While I understand the reason why these churches were set up was to avoid racism and to support members of the BAME community I feel they have also become institutions of cultural policing. To me these places thrive off the idea of their own cultural and spiritual superiority as true followers of their faith. Claims of adhering to the true faith and pure traditions have meant that these churches get away with xenophobia and creating an oppressive spirituality.

In LGBT churches I find I am often the target of socially sanctioned racism. The idea that sexuality is tied to western civilisation and progress has meant that it is possible to speak about non-white people as uncivilised in a socially acceptable manner.  I was the only non-white person in a white group, which spoke about barbaric black people and didn’t even acknowledge my presence even once. 

Trying to ignore the racism for the sake of my friend who I was accompanying I sat through a service that I can only describe as self-centred. Scripture and tradition were completely deconstructed till the service resembled a self-help group. While I am critical of tradition, I am particular about understanding Christianity and worship in the context of the faith.  My LGBT brothers and sisters have been greatly abused as sinners however getting rid of the concept of sin erases the purpose of Christ, it also creates a theology of the self. 

Both churches spoke about possessing a truer and superior faith. This spiritual hierarchy does not sit well with me, I find the idea of boasting about one’s faith hubris. Neither church spoke about their faith, but about how they were better for believing what they did.

The divide in the CoE over race and sexuality is unpleasant, BAME Anglicans are assumed to be homophobic people intent on being nasty in LGBT groups. LGBT Anglicans are assumed to be people trying to destroy the church. Theological and spiritual literacy is not a luxury, it is a necessity in our time.

PS: Silence, discomfort and discrimination brought about the formation of identity centric churches. We need to address pain and reconcile our differences. Please don’t use this post to denounce these churches.